September 6, 2018

I love organization, planning, and being a day behind in posting my blog. Not sure why. Just seems to be what keeps happening. Maybe this time it was because I am in the heart of the stress and grief, maybe it was because I got distracted watching TV and drinking chai tea, or maybe it was because when I’m in a disorganized, chaotic situation, I can’t think straight and I just end up shutting down like a robot with an “off” switch. Do they still have “off” switches? Do they still call them robots, or have we moved on to the more popular term AI?

Am I 100 years old?

Does anyone else feel that constant worried feeling in their stomach, followed by headaches, stomach aches, heart pounding, and insomnia? NO? Cool, me neither. I think sometimes that I’m very lucky I found someone who loves me despite this. I also think sometimes that I should probably go live by myself (and my dog, obviously) on an island somewhere and not interact with other humans.

Day 88 – Late as usual

July 20-24, 2018

You can TRY to escape your family, but they will follow you wherever you go. Like an STD. Did someone smart say this? No? It’s obvious? Cool.

My family has its problems. Everyone’s does, right? Well, step aside with your small My-Uncle-Got-Drunk-At-Thanksgiving-And-Revealed-I’m-Adopted NON-PROBLEM, because my family wins (loses?) this one. Suffice it to say, that’s why I’ve been absent. I want to hold myself accountable. I want to be honest.

So, originally I was at a wedding where there was no service. That was my first reason I couldn’t post. BUT THEN – MY FAMILY… They (metaphorically) flew in during the wedding reception and caused a scene (only in my life), so I had to rush back and catch a flight out to deal with the craziness/emergency. I’ve been preoccupied, though I suppose that’s not really an excuse. I let it be an excuse. Even though I’m still here dealing with it all and the aftermath (though it’s not over yet), I will continue to try to post nightly as I usually do.

Anyone else feel like moving to a small island somewhere and selling t-shirts on the beach? No? Just me? That literally sounds like the dream. My family will potentially not be able to find me there. Silver lining. Plus it’s AN ISLAND, so it’s its own silver lining. Oh, and did I mention, that MY FAMILY WILL NOT KNOW WHERE I AM? Though they seem to have the noses of a bloodhound when it comes to finding me right when crazy shit is going down…

Days 40-44 – Accountability and Family Insanity (par for the course)