August 30, 2018

No rest for the weary. Got some tough news today from my parents. I mean, it’s not so much the news, which is simply a wait-and-see game, but it’s more the general reaction. My dad tries to control it and gets angry. My mom panics and dumps all of her worries and anxiety on me. And I try to suss out what exactly is going on while mitigating my mom’s panic and trying to get my dad to make sense/stop being angry.

All that’s to say that the grief continues. I’m very worried, but I can’t tell if I should be because my news comes secondhand either from someone who’s too angry and controlling to see what actually should be done or from someone whose anxiety is so high that she can’t think straight (or at all). So either everything is fine or nothing is. I’m not sure.

In other news, I pulled someone else’s hair out of my bathtub drain today and almost puked. Life is fun.

Day 81 – Worry Wart

July 26, 2018

Normally, surgery is not funny. But usually AFTER the surgery is hilarious. Nothing is better than someone who is on heavy painkillers and thinks it’s the absolute right time for confessions, opinions, ideas, and an insistence that they have a burning cigarette up their nose.

It was a pretty good day if I look at the individual moments, which isn’t usually my strength. USUALLY I notice how the whole thing is full of annoying moments (people) and it all adds up to a really annoying day (with people) and then it seems annoying overall (mostly because of the people). But today, there was laughter in the face of tough times, and that’s really what I love. I know it sounds a little weird, but if any of you knew what my family was like, you’d realize that laughing through tragedy is just a normal Tuesday (yes, today is Thursday, don’t sass me).

So when my dad pulled the oxygen out of his nose to try to find his invisible burning cigarette, or when he tried to get up and leave the hospital because “it’s time to go,” or when he called the nurse in because he had to pee, but instead insisted he was in the wrong room and then proceeded to pee during the conversation, I enjoyed every moment of it. And then I had cake. Oops.

Day 46 – Comedy/Tragedy