Aaaaand I still haven’t made a decision about my work stuff. I have decided that the best course of action is to ignore it until it becomes impossible to avoid or they give up on me and go away. This is normal, right? I’m fine. Nothing to see here, folks.
The crime thriller I was watching finished (as in, I binge-watched it for two days), and it was definitely a thriller until the end, when they tried to wrap it up but it didn’t make any sense. Somehow – in this tiny town surrounded by walls with a gated entrance and 100 total residents – somehow there are several murderers, fires, missing people, etc. and it isn’t until you’re thinking back on it that you realize that it’s completely insane for so much to happen in one place but also, hot damn was that a good show. It kept me fascinated the entire time. So, thank you to the creators of such a plot-hole-filled murder mystery that had me gasping out loud and immediately turning on the next episode, no time to wait the 15 seconds for the next one to play.
One of my best friends moved away today. It seems like such an important moment, an important goodbye, but when it comes down to it, you’re just like, “Well, bye” and then they leave. I set down the playing card I was holding, stood up awkwardly, hugged him for longer than I would have, and then waited for him to walk out the door so I could run to the bathroom because I really had to pee.
Goodbyes are like that. They’re so built up but in the moment there’s just nothing to do but say the words and go back to the way your life was and will be from now on. You miss them, for sure, and you feel their absence from the moment it occurs, but there’s just nothing else to be done. They leave. You go pee and start playing cards again with one fewer player. How sad and uneventful at the same time that is.
I will miss him a lot and yet it’s not until right this moment that I even thought about him again, and that’s because I remembered he still has some of my stuff. He left 8 and a half hours ago and I just thought of him now for the first time since then because I realized he has my protein shaker and I probably won’t see that again. So which one am I sadder about? The shaker or the friend? Just kidding, it’s obvious. I hope they both come back.
Day 28 – Missing Friends and Thrilling Crime.
A Year to Grieve 